i did it again..
went to a charity concert(called Love Express organised by CACS of NUS) last nite.. wasn't too bad.. really impressed with this guy, sing really well, play a 12-string guitar, humerous guy, gd-looking but.. he's blind.. oh well.. god is fair.. u're blind.. but u're blessed with great talent.. concert ended at abt 2300hr n then nite had just started.. haha..

had tis plan with my fren few days back to get some beer/alcohol stuff.. hang out at a playground (a playground with swing.. love the swing.. was so deprieved of it when i was young.. just can't resist them when i c one now.. was really glad i found 2 playgrounds near my hse with swings.. think i'm going the other one tonite.. hehe)
ok so i got drunk again.. (din noe i was so bad.. just needed a bottle of Long Island n a bottle of e-33 to get mi high.. or drunk i think.. still dunno when u cross the line from high to drunk??) well after that just let out all my frustrations.. i cried..(ya i literally cried.. n dunno for how long.. ) i smoked..(feel so dumb.. dun even noe to smoke so i probably just wasted the cigarettes coz i dun feel anything.. ) n i got a stranger(another person frustrated with life who joined us at the park) to let mi ride his bike ard the park.. wat m i doing mann.. did all the nonsense stuff.. blabbered all the nonsense.., made a fool of myself.. (oh.. at least i din lose my bag, din sprain my ankle this time.. haaha.. was much more sober than i was last wk..), ignored my parents' phonecalls n guess wat!?! i got a total of 32 missed calls the whole nite.. reached home in the early morning.. nagged by my dad.. KO.. woke up.. all seemed too quiet n calm n then.. when i was having my lunch.. there goes my mum..blar blar blar blar blar.. on n on n on.. sigh.. ask mi to bring my frens home to chat n not stay outside in the wee hrs to chat(what i told them i did.. which i really did.. just not going into details with them.. haha..) is tis a joke or wat.. they dun getit.. they just DUN.. sigh.. oh well.. so what's next.. LIFE GOES ON.. that's it mann.. that is my sucky life.. n i gotta go work now..

i need to get out of this place someday somehow..

Leave Me Alone!
that's it.. i'm not gonna take that stalker's call anymore.. can't believe i really went out dinner with him.. i really wanted to b nice n not treat pple by their cover.. but he's just behaving weird.. n i just dun clique with him.. he keep insisting on knowing my weight.. DO U NOE THAT'S ITS CONFIDENTIAL!!! MEN!! please learn this.. this is a basic respect u shd give a woman... i believe most of u wld noe.. but apparently the stalker doesn't! then he came out with a gift saying its for first meeting.. "HELLO!! wat r u thinking..!??" is there still such a thing as first-time-meeting-gifts nowadays!?! oh well its a gift.. so i shd just accept it.. but then u have to tell mi its just something you dun wan from a company dinner lucky draw.. "AM I A RUBBISH DUMP??!?!" ok.. mayb i'm prejudiced.. mayb i'm paranoid.. n after saying so much bad things.. i think i shd b fair n say abit of gd things abt him.. i think he is a really hardworking person.. haha.. coz in order to get a job.. he told mi he went all the way from the top floor of International Plaza(IP) right down floor by floor to give co., mayb job agency, his resume.. n mind u, there are at least 50 floors at the IP bldg if i'm not wrg, k then he offered to help mi find a job coz he have so many agency contacts now.. then when i said i have no $ for my sch fees, he offered to lend mi $.. but i dunno him well.. we r not even frens.. i dun even noe if we r considered acquaintance! so now u pple tell mi.. is he weird or m i paranoid.. HELP!!!

wat can b worst!! i came home from dinner with the stalker.. then the stoopid dog(now its no longer the 2 dogs.. its another black puppy.. ) in my hse can't leave mi alone.. (this is worse, at least the 2 dogs last time will only bark leave mi alone.. now tis black puppy have to chase mi all the way into my hse living room.. ARRGGHHH!!!)LEAVE MI ALONE!!!!! I NEED A DOG-FREE HSE TO LIVE IN!!! wat else? it even played with my bedsheets left out to sun.. I HATE DOGS!!!

Still Swollen...
went for another sin sei session this morning.. went to a free one haha.. (well it works by donation n ya of coz i donated.. ) but its all so disappointing.. i used to think the sin sei will rub your sprains hard till u scream n scare away everybody n the next thing u noe is u'll b hopping again.. but apparently not..
the 1st one i went to just did a superficial rub n now after 1 wk my ankle is still swollen.. (it wasn't even a serious sprain) n the 2nd session today was just some heat therapy n he wldn'd even rub for you if u din request for it.. (its free.. rem?) sigh.. n i was told to rest n not walk too much.. but i had been walking whole day since morning.. (had to accompany my mum to JB for some acupunture.. n did some shopping there of coz.. hehe..) so izzit my fault that my ankle is still not well?.. but i still think u shd exercise your injured part more so as to improve circulation.. haha..

7 Goals!
hahaa.. noe wat..? Arsenal vs West Bromwich.. was it a gd match?? i din watch.. n ya i dunno much abt soccer.. i'm just a gambler.. hehe.. but i win.. bet $1 for 7goals, $2 for Arsenal win.. winning is abt $29.. small sum but gd enuff for mi.. its just the kick of winning! *grin*
KG.. so how's luck for you so far? =)

Was Love Ever Here?
if you are not happy with each other then just end it.. you ppl r doing nobody gd.. together or not, i dun think it makes much diff to others.. what's the pt you stay together n can't stand each other for the rest of ur life.. how miserable is that.. he tries to find fault at every little thing.. she purposely go against him.. then wat am i gonna to do.. listen to him? or listen to her? so the best thing to do is to get out of the way.. sigh.. n there, u leave another problem of your life unsolved.. running n hiding from it..

Quote of the Day:
"The price you pay for comformity is lack of creativity." --Timothy Price

i need MORE time
wat did i do the whole day today or rather yeaterday??.. went out early in the morning to study.. but din study much.. kept toking to my fren.. wonder if i was irritating.. then met up an old sec sch fren who is back fr states for holi.. well n they say i nvr change at all.. hmm i think so n nvr grow up too.. sigh.. this is so bad.. nvr grow up but still getting old.. so just chit chat the whole afternoon.. fren is really different mann.. even her photo taken 2mths back look different.. then went to the lib to re-activate my lib card n went to work.. only 1 patient today for the whole night.. was typing away a list of drug names on my palm coz we were so free.. well but b4 i can finish.. my Dr. already came up with the complete list.. so i was just wasting my 2hrs there poking at my palm n straining my eyes. arrghh.. i seemd to b busy these days but i dun c myself getting any stuff done.. still haven finish my data entry.. still have some painting to do.. still need to catch up on my class which i'm 2mths behind n the class started only 2mths back.. mayb i'm commuting too much.. think that's where all my time goes.. tomo or rather later today i have to go Ikea which is abt 1.5hr to n fro n wed i have to accompany my mum to JB. .think that will take mi at least 3/4day.. sigh.. n i can only study again on thur.. hmm.. now izzit my fault that i'm falling behind class... haha.. hmm.. or mayb i chit chat too much.. sigh.. when did i become so talkative.. must b some peer influence.. (u noe i'm toking abt u.. haha..)

"Quotes" from everyday life
forget abt quotes from famous ppl or famous quotes.. there are so many from the pple ard you.. sounds familiar??

1. "Get out off the way, get out of the hse.. can't stand an extra minute of seeing you at home!"
   --fr a person who has lost love/hope in the marriage


2. "Siting at home with nothing to do is so tiring n boring!"
   --fr a person who worked 363days a yr


3. "...when you wake up in the morning, life still goes on."
   --fr a person after a drunken night


4. "What is yours will come back to you..."
   --fr a person who believes his/her partner is not gone forever yet


5. "Some pple just have to learn it the hard way."
   --fr a person trying to give comfort


6. "Sometimes being rebellious just gives you the kick."
   --fr a person who needs to break free from parents n be indepedant


7. "Don't be forever so lost (in life)."
   --fr an encouraging person

Improve Your Vocab.. (Longman):

• abyss - 1)a deep empty space, seen from a high pt such as a mountain
  - 2)a very dangerous or frightening situation
  - 3)a great difference which separates two pple or grps

Lost & Found!
found my bag!! *grin* 'cept for lost of all cash.. including all coins.. n my foundation n lip gloss.. haha. vain thief rite.. i dunno wat to say mann.. but good thing is all my cards are still intact.. at least i dun have to spent $300 on a stoopid I/C.. haha.. but i spent the last 2 days cancelling all my cards... now i have to spent the next 2 days re-activating all the cards/re-apply new ones for those that can't be re-activated.. sigh.. its just endless troubles..

sigh.. ankle is still not as agile after 2 days of itchy bandage.. had another slight sprain last nite on the same ankle.. sigh.. then other foot is also feeling weird from too much hopping on it the last 2 days.. y i so suay.. must b step on some dirty things this mth.. haha.. dunno if i shd spent more $ for another sin sei session...

there's so much change in events in the last couple of days n now i dun even noe whether i'm feeling the joy of passing my exams... the frustration of losing my bag.. the irritation from being nagged due to my lost of keys... the stupidity of spraining my ankle... the delight of getting my stuff back or the troubles of cancelling n re-activating all cards.. its just a period of 4 days and so much things have happened.. pls end here.. i can't handle change well!

Gimme a BREAK!!
will you stop giving mi that irritating smirking face n assume that i have a bf n been living off them.. i dunno wat you r thinking but just gimme a break n mind your own biz!! r you ppl too free or wat!!?!!? the fact is i dun have a bf n the person i like doesn't even give a damn abt me!.. so gimme a break! mind ur own biz!! n S-T-O-P praying into my life!!!.. here comes the contradiction in life again.. if you stay persistant.. do you call it determined? OR do u call it self-degrading (by throwing yourself at him..)? this is all so shitty n this is what we call LIFE!!! WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD! *sigh.. sigh.. sigh..*

Personality Disorder Test

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid:	Low
Schizoid:	Moderate
Schizotypal:	High
Antisocial:	High
Borderline:	Moderate
Histrionic:	Moderate
Narcissistic:	High
Avoidant:	Very High
Dependent:	High
Obsessive-Compulsive:	High
-- Click Here To Take The Test --

Improve Your Vocab.. (Longman):

• eccentric - someone who behaves in a way that is different fr what is usual or socially accepted

Going.. going.. gone..
sigh.. my happiness is wearing off.. i can feel it draining away.. bit by bit.. y y y?? happy things just dun last.. i so damn sleepy rite now.. almost typing with my eyes closed.. but i dun wanna to go sleep.. i noe as the day passes.. my happiness will all b drained before i noe it.. i'm fucking 23yrs old n my dad still keeps mi in a CAGE... u noe u feel so caged like a bird that might just forget how to fly after being in a cage for too long.. wat can i do mann.. i just dun wanna too live tis type of life anymore.. first i must get my keys.. so that i can sneak home when i'm late.. sigh..

I PASSED!!!!
Unbelieveable.. i pass my papers all 3 of them.. i was so sure i couldn't make it coz almost half of all the papers were blank.. this is really miracles mann.. i had this luck so many times.. i think i really need to buck up mann.. this luck wouldn't last forever.. i feel GREAT!! this result is really a determining point of my life.. shucks.. i couldn't imagine if i had fail all.. i might just give up the whole course.. now i noe.. i'm going all the way..

yesterday was a great day.. 'cept i dunno how mann.. i lost my WHOLE bag n i din noe how.. (ok.. coz i went mdm wong n got really high..) shit mann.. my wallet.. my handphone.. my everything is lost n i din even noe how.. n a subsequent replacement of I/C cost 300 fucking bucks.. shit mann. not to tok abt my lost cash.. argh.. even sprain my ankle n i din noe how.. shit shit shit .. i'm such a loser.. but who cares.. i passed! =)

Improve Your Vocab.. (Longman):

• sacrosanct - something that is considered to be so impt that no one is allowed to criticize or change it

English
have always been wanting to do something abt my poor english.. and well now its been triggered by some pple i met w powDerful english.. think this shd b able to help abit in long term.. this is bad.. i dun think my vocab is even primary school standard..

Improve Your Vocab.. (Longman):

• blithe - seeming not to care or worry abt the effects of wat you do

East Coast Again!
Alrite mann!!. i went blading at east coast again today.. practically the whole day.. luckily the rain tis morning din get to EC.. finally learn something from my fren after blading for so many years.. hmm.. weird fren thou.. sigh.. i dunno wat he's thinking mann.. say he'll call mi out tonite.. coz he's predicting to have some g/f prob.. weird weird weird.. still think he's kinda weird.. sigh.. !!! anyway tis a great day until.. .. .. "the stalker" fren called again.. haha.. i tot he's forgotten abt mi.. i dunno if i treat him as a fren.. but he is really behaving like a stalker.. keep asking mi out to have coffee.. i hardly noe him?!?!? wat shd i do mann.. mayb i'm just prejudiced.. i dunno... everybody is kinda weird these days.. or izzit myself getting weird n cranky these days.. *SIGH* !!??

running out of internet access time again.. just upgraded to more hrs last mth and still not enuff.. think i need broadband unlimited access.. i shd i shd.. think i shd just go get it.. sigh.. 10times more ex.. arghh.. WTF mann!! get somebody else to pay.. i'm not the only 1 using anyway!

WTF!!!
WTF! WTF! WTF! WTF! WTF! WTF! WTF! WTF! WTF! WTF! WTF! WTF! WTF! WTF! WTF! WTF! WTF! WTF! WTF! WTF! WTF! WTF! WTF! WTF! WTF! WTF! WTF! WTF! wtf! wtf! wtf! wtf! wtf! wtf!wtf!wtf! ... ... ... ... ... ... ... stop calling mi!!! !!!

Skipped Class
i skipped my only class for the week today.. sigh.. its doesn't make much difference really.. coz from the last few classes i went.. all i remembered throughout the whole 4hr was wat i had during breaks and how bad the aircon n seats were.. went to a nearby kopi tiam while waiting for the library to open.. shucks.. my calf muscle is still strained from the cramp in my sleep this morning.. had a feeling this cramp in the sleep thing had something to do with having coffee.. think i'm getting abit addicted to caffeine.. had some kopi-peng last evening to keep mi awake while working.. this morning abit kopi-gian.. so went ahead with my kopi-O dispite my calf cramp.. decided to go to the library n do something more constructive instead.. managed to stone in the library for 4hrs n did some reading.. lugged 3 big bks home.. hopped i do get abt reading it n not just lug it from the library n back again untouched..

sigh.. wat am i doing??
i have a dip.. (ya its no big deal but that’s like 13yrs in school.. ya n that’s no big deal too coz most of the ppl now goes thru that.. but i dun think i learn much in school.. sigh..) now i’m nua-ing at home, doing odd jobs, like traffic counts (@$#%#^$), clinic asst, painting, data-entry (mine is highly pd. thou.. hee.. ), none of which need any intelligence.. am i lazy or am i dumb??.. sigh.. wat am i doing??

my results is coming out next week.. well i dun think i need to wait for it in the first place coz i’m just waiting for miracles now.. mayb they got the wrg student no. n my results will show a pass.. but so wat if i pass.. i still noe NUTS about wat i studied.. izzit mi or izzit the education system.. PASSING isn’t much of a prob.. but at the end of the day i still dunno anything!!! i’m just so sick of all these crap.. mayb i shd just start working.. but wat???

sigh.. my dad finally noticed i’m not studying much.. (i’m just putting up a sham so that i dun appear to b cho-bo’ing but the truth is i’ve been wasting my life since i resigned from my job in nov’01.. ermm.. no.. actually even when i was working, i was wasting my life coz it’s a cho bo job.. so i’ve wasted 3yrs of my life.. sigh..) my dad asked mi to go study in NUS next year, he wants me to get a degree since 3yrs ago n i can’t remember how many times he had asked mi to go to a Uni.. but it’s a 3yr IT degree, which i noe i’m not gonna to use it.. (and the stoopid rigid s’pore system dun allow dip. students to apply for any other courses ‘cept the related ones n there isn’t much exemptions too.. dumb rite!) so wat's the pt i waste another 3yrs in school.. getting overqualified for whatever dumb job which i might like to do in future.. haha.. (but then again even if i’m not in school, i’m wasting my life too..)

well all i can say is.. little little things that happen in your life can just change your whole life path drastically.. but then its all fated.. isn’t it?

pple always say you have to have determination when you do something.. but then they also say you have to noe when to let go of things.. so when u keeping failing your examinations.. do u stay determined n keep on going OR learn to let go n go do something else which appeal to u.. that u’ll excel..

ok my thoughts r always messed up.. so this part has not much to do with the above.. when toking abt letting go of a relationship.. do u forget n move on.. OR do u move on to forget..?? do u forget n start a new relationship.. OR do start a new relationship to forget..?? (nope.. I’m NOT toking abt having someone on the rebound) “time will heal all wounds..” how true is that..??

Improve Your Vocab.. (Longman):

• gregarious - friendly n preferring to be with others rather than alone


• incessant - noise etc continues w/o stopping, in an annoying way

Fate n Religion n Palmistry
argh.. i'm freaking out.. my bro thinks i'm mad to read a bible (nope.. i'm NOT a christian.. i'm a freethinker), well i think i'm mad too.. or mayb i'm just too bored.. i dun believe tis.. in a week, 3 pple told me that if i believe in fate, i some how believe that there a god.. well.. i din say i dun believe, but can't fate n god b looked at separately!

the worst was 2 christians came knocking at my door few days ago.. i usually wait for my mum to find out who were the pple in case they were her frens.. but it just happen that she was too shabbishly dressed n i had to go check it out.. r they full time christian or wat??!! can b so free to go round toking to ppl that its gonna b end of the world soon.. on a hot sunny day somemore.. but anyway i did tok to time for abt 10 min i think.. n kenna nagged by my mum for toking to them for so long.. wat am i thinking mann.. but well i'm bored u c.. haha.. i must give myself a break from all these religion stuffs coz I NEED TO RULE MY OWN LIFE! (ya i admit i made a big mess out of it but its MY life!! .. sigh.. )

hmm.. anyway.. i still believe in fate (not so much abt god stuff) n also palmistry.. these 2 goes together.. everything abt ur life is written in your palms.. when your life changes, the lines on your palms changes. there r ppl who dun believe in fate n say they ctrl their own life (they call it ren ding shen tian) well its possible, they can.. so when they lived their life in the way they want to.. their palm lines will changed accordingly but because palm lines dun change so easily, i guess that's y its pretty difficult to change your life.. sounds logical? (hmm.. think i'm a very logical person but y can't i do IT.. mayb i'm just lazy to learn.. )

ok now think of it the other way.. if your palm lines change according to your life, your life will also change according to your palm lines.. that is to say.. if you change your palm lines at the part where you can determine where goes wrg.. n change it, your life will change automatically.. i did hear from a close person how it happen n really witness how the life change. i myself tried n it really works, but i still dunno if its the right thing to do.. coz there's so much thing that can b affected by a small change (dun ask mi how.. not that i dunno how but i dunwan to freak u ppl out..)

haha.. guess hardworking and determined ppl work hard to change their life thru ren ding shen tian but lazy ppl like mi use the second way.. the short-cut way.. not much effort needed.. but of coz u need to noe wat each lines n nodes represent b4 u can change it n be warned.. you dunno how it'll affect other things in your life.. that's the difficult part..

Bad Thursday Morning!
sigh... i still hate my life.. i hate the world.. n i HATE pao to kia!!! i'm not going to take up any more traffic count assignments.. they r just a waste of time.. yup.. basically that's the reason why i took it up.. to pass time so that i dun nua at home so much n get really fat.. but now that its so crappy.. i QUIT!!!

finally finished my painting job.. n got my 100 bucks.. shit!! i left it in my shorts pocket which is now in the lundary basket.. gotta get it now b4 i forget again..

Canoe..
hey, GY!.. kinda miss canoing when i blade pass the canoe shed.. haha.. great times..

yup! i just went canoing last thursday w my fren, GY, was right after an assignment too! east coast is just a great place especially during weekdays.. not too crowded..

Quote of the Day:
"Worrying is like a rocking chair, it gives you something to do but doesn't bring you anywhere."

Virgin Journey of K2 Innova
Yes! i finally bring my blades out and tried it for the first time... its great!! ..had a traffic count assignment in the early morning till 0930 at Bayshore Rd which is just beside East Coast beach.. brought my blades out in the morning and went blading right after the assignment. just came back from 2hrs of blading.. woa!! its just a great day! great job.. great assignment.. great location.. great timing.. great workout.. everything is just great on a 'no worries' day. oh ya.. blades is a gd transport too! blade all the way home.. bus fare saved =) ..
i love the sun.. i love the sea.. i love the beach.. i love the sea breeze.. i love the sea view.. i love east coast beach n i LOVE my new blades!! think i must b too excited abt my new blades and bladed too long that my legs was on "sewing machine gear 4" (just a term used to describe how bad your legs are shievering from exhausation) haha.. hmm.. but wonder if its bad to blade after a rainy morning.. puddles of water everywhere.. better go clean my new "baby" hehe..

New month resolution - 2nd review..
hmm.. now that someone remind mi of my new mth resolution.. i did NOTHING at all for the wk.. i knew it!!! resolutions DUN WORK for mi..

i just realised its been exactly ONE WEEK since i bought my in-line skakes but its still lying in the box.. i still haven got the time to try it.. but well at least i've stopped nua-ing at home..

been working hard for all my luxurious spendings.. did a 2 traffic count assignments (had a real long story to tell from the 2 day work, even found a new fren too!), painting of my dad's office (took mi 2 days n its still unfinished, why can't i work faster.. sigh.. this is no easy money.. ), 4 shifts at the clinic (yup! finally start work at the clinic)

the bad thing is my clinic work schedule was changed unexpectedly, working hrs reduced w/o being informed.. quite bad management on their part.. i guess doctors ain't gd managers.. but then i guess i love this job, n it feels really great to find out that i was chosen amongst 20+ or izzit 30+?? applicants..

human r funny creatures.. this is just a great motivator - knowing that u r classified as the better lot, much better than money motivation (study management and u'll noe this is exactly wat the "Hawthorn experiment" found) i experienced it n i say its totally true =)

hmm... let's c, need to get a F/T job? or get more P/T assignments? or start giving tuition?.. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. ..

Bursting of a Dream Bubble
heard abt a fren's story of persuing a dream to b a doctor.. although i dunno him well n i dunno how much effort he had put in regard to this dream.. but just imagine having a dream for at least 4 years and then overnight it vanished.. just becoz u din perform well in an interview, just an inteview changed your WHOLE life.. i really cannot imagine myself going thru that.. even hearing it from a fren make me feel really down and sad..

New Blades =)
still waiting for my job to start. just got a call from my doc saying that the starting date is delayed again.. please start soon.. i need money.. just spent 300 bucks on a new pair of in-line skates-K2 Women's Innova yesterday coz my old one just retired.. tot of going for skating lesson but then it another 90 bucks.. shd i? still need some money for new classes at the end of the month.. sigh! life is just all abt money..

Sleep vs Eat
arrghh.... can't sleep AGAIN tonite.. too much things in mind? or mayb slept too much last nite.. feel like pigging out now coz i'm an emotional eater.. guess i'll feel better while pigging out.. but worst after that cause i noe i'll definately put on weight.. sigh.. think i'll just stone in front of the comp.. worst thing is i have morning class tomolo!!..

Trapped!
GREAT!.. first i trapped myself.. gossip abt the whole story to my best pal for the whole evening.. then i got myself slapped right in e face when my surprise turn into an illusion.. how shall i put it .. nice things r always short-lived mayb coz i nvr had the courage to pursue.. nvr did put in any effort for it..

Dream Bubbles
i always envy people with a dream.. a real strong determination to pursue a dream.. and then after years of effort.. just a short unsuccessful test/interview or something will change their entire life.. this is really sad.. you even think you can feel the pain for them for the bursting of their dream bubble.. but you nvr noe.. u'll nvr noe how it feels to have your bubble turning into just spot of water.. nvr ever able to form into a bubble again.. forever.. is this life? this is life mann.. i think i really scared.. really chicken abt living life .. which is why i nvr dare to like n pursue something strong enuff to make it my dream.. is that why.. i think so.. i'm just scared of forming bubbles.. that i just keeping testing my bubble mixture.. but nvr blowing them into bubble.. in case they burst.. is that me? a person w/o bubbles..

Confession
i have a real big confession.. but i can't say it.. i need help.. i need advise.. i always thought i'll b able to handle it but i just realised i'm getting myself more n more trapped in the situation.. i din meant to lead people on.. (ya now u have an idea of wat my confession is about) n i din.. did i.. din't i.. i din't.. i did.. i din.. arghh.. or mayb i did.. but i din meant it.. din't i.. did i.. i did.. subconsiously.. or purposely.. oh..no.. somebody help mi.. !! i was already in a mess!! tot nothing could b worst.. but its geting really really bad now.. wat shd i do?.. start working.. start studying.. act busy n disappear.. cliche??!!.. isn't that running away. or is that the best way.. I JUST TRAPPED MYSELF... HOW SMART!!! no no no.. i dun play with people's feeling.. believe or not? i can't force you..

New month resolution - 1st review..
start on my crunches, did some reading, went blading, quite successful for the first day.. but then my blades just retired today.. where can i get $300 to buy a new pair.. sigh.. need to work abt a month on my new part-time job.. hopefully i can buy then.. but still need to pay for new classes at the end of the month.. argh.. money is nvr enuff and everything is still falling apart..

THERE ARE 2 MAD DOGS IN MY HSE N I CAN'T GET RID OF THEM.. aaaaarrrrgggghhhh.. let them run away, let them die, let them watever.. i dunwan c them anymore.. !!!