Last Day of My OLD Life
went back to sch..
sign up for my new class next yr.. last day of additional discount today.. (wat early bird discount.. damn commercialised.. went for it anyway..) place was super crowded..

went Sitex 2002 at expo..
sign up for broadband ADSL finally.. had been 'wanting to' for abt half a yr already.. but i'm just gonna chuck it aside for another mth b4 activating n using it..
bf got his DigiCam - Nikon Coolpix 775.. finally too =) was like on a research proj looking at cam w him the past wks.. hehe.. was great.. was fun.. was a learning process.. grin.. (was totally clueless b4 tt)
now i noe wat to look for n wat i wan..
i wan my DigiCam too! Canon PowerShot A40.. only thing stopping mi is the battery.. shd i? shd i? shd i? i wan! i wan! i wan!

Yr 2002 is coming to an end.. time to trash my current life.. tomo is a new mth.. transitional period to my new life.. 11 days more to my exam.. gonna get it over n done with.. go for my 10 days road trip.. come back with 10 days left to party n plan.. NEW life in the new year..
hmm.. tis just sounds like a new yr resolution.. nvr gonna work.. but well.. at least a concept for now..=)

TransitLink Farecard is history! overheard the news saying the transitlink office system was down due to too many ppl doing refund n buying new ez-link last minute..

s'porean r funny.. free gift.. long Q.. new launch.. long Q.. discount.. long Q.. last day.. long Q.. everything also long Q.. hmm.. mayb we're just overpopulated..

nothing is impossible.. but some tings r just not within ur reach..
changed my mind last nite.. made an attempt.. 24hrs later.. i'm back to square one.. w 24hr lesser.. 1day nearer to 'it'..

seems easy yet its just not within my capabilities.. *sigh* at least not now.. i had to let it go once again..

i was told "Once u've make a decision, dun look back.. even if its wrong!"

so i'm sticking by that for now.. no pt rushing.. especially now..
i shd have thought of that back in aug.. n i wldn'd even b in tis state now.. its always e last-minute pressure..
some part of mi is panicky yet some part is calm.. dunno which is which but i just can't funtion properly under tis combi..
ok.. its just all in the MIND.. .. ..

The Temptation Test

Hedonist
It has become apparent that the word "no" is not one you use too often. In fact, it seems you just might have replaced it with "sure," "pour it on," and "I'll take it." As a Hedonist, you probably see no reason to put limits on pleasure. When the little angel of your conscience arrives on your shoulder to challenge your indulgent side, it's usually knocked off by that little devil who's never too far away from your decisions.

It seems that extravagance to you is a way of life, not an isolated event. And discipline is a punishment that you choose not to employ — it's overrated anyway. All this good stuff is here for a reason, right? Someone's gotta have fun with it and you only live once!

Improve Your Vocab.. (Longman):

• hedonist - someone who believes that pleasure is the most important thing in life

time to self reflect..?
when something happen to u once.. u blame on the other party..

when something happen to u twice.. u wonder if its your luck ..

when something happen to u e THIRD TIME.. there SHD b something wrg w urself.. rite??

wait.. not yet.. i'm only in the middle of second time.. just preparing for it.. izzit mi?! izzit mi?! izzit mi?!.. or mayb it is just a FUCKED UP world..

could it just be coincidence?
it seems that everytime u r so determined to do something.. something will happen to make u think twice n reconsider it again.. n after u reconsider.. make up ur mind to follow initial plan.. the same cycle happens..

Typical Parent
heard tis mum asking her kid..

mum: do u want fresh milk?

kid: dun wan..

mum: cannot dun wan..

*disgusted* then wat e hell u ask e kid for.. for wat! for wat! for wat! someone enlighten me pls..
wat other ans is there if DUN WAN is an unacceptable ans..
how many times had we experience tis type of 'u-have-to-drink/eat/do-no-matter-wat-ur-ans-is' situation while we're growing up.. in fact it still happens to mi now.. tis is just dumb!

Another 2hrs Later
i'm still stuck at the comp n messing ard.. aaaaarrrrgggggghhhhhhhh.......

U-N-R-E-A-L
everything feels unreal.sounds unreal.looks unreal.seems unreal.
exams esp.. now i dun feel anyting.. suppose to go study like 2hrs ago. NOW.. 2hrs later i'm blogging..

my tooth filling chipped again again again again AGAIN!!! now i have to go to the dental AGAIN when i just did last mth.. wanna ignore it but its my front tooth RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE.. how do i ignore tt.. fuck! spent so much $$$$ n all i get is a fake tooth.. now i have to go thru this process over n over n over again thruout my WHOLE FUCKING life.. as if there is not enuff things to fuzz abt already.. sianzz

cosmetics stuffs just screw up ur life even more.. STAY AWAY!!!

Laziness Syndrome
this must b it.. everytime i wanna do work/study.. i get headache.. real headache.. for no rhyme or reason unless i need to do work/study..

or mayb its the caffeine.. need to stop drinking coffee/tea.. its just screwing up my sleeping hrs.. but like can't study w/o falling asleep w/o it.. how mann.. another episode of senseless life issue..

Irritating.. irritating.. IRRITATING!!!
u think i wanna tok to u if i can avoid it!? if u're unhappy with ur life.. job.. watever.. go do something abt it.. wat's e pt u snap at everybody!!!

My Perfect Egg
had a typical breakfast(u noe the usual bread, egg, kopi stuff) at a hawker centre yest.. sigh cannot make it. not to tok abt cold toast that wldn't even melt the butter.. the half-boiled egg was still so raw its transparent n not white.. yucks!..

i like my egg ¾-boiled.. but no one seemed to b able to do it.. e other time i tried to request the kopi-tiam uncle to do it.. guess wat happened!?.. he just dump the whole pot of water w eggs to mi n ask mi count the minutes myself.. WTF!

oh well.. mayb i'm too fussy.. so i tink i'll just do it myself tis morn' n in future too.. nice =) .. exactly the way i wan it.. wanna try?

1. boil some water
2. submerged the egg
3. cover the pot
4. wait 10 to 12min max
5. drain all the water

n u got it.. soft watery egg white like half-boiled egg n hard egg yolk err.. nope.. not exactly hard.. just not watery (i hate watery egg yolk!)

no $ to study?
i'm suppose to b studying w fren this morn' (wed morn') n i ended up trying to help him tink of a way to pay up all his loans so that he can slowly save some marnee for his studies..

THEN after studying abit.. came home.. came online.. another fren also start icq-ing mi that he only have 100bucks in his bank n no marnee to stardee when he badly wanted to..

ya..ya.. now everybody start telling mi how poor thing they r.. can't affort to stardee.. n yet i've been sleeping in class.. ok i feel real bad n i'm gonna start stardeeing like now?!..

tell mi this is just coincidence!!!

taste buds vs food
what is wrg mann.. first my peach-flavoured ice-cream taste like durian.. now my iced lemon tea taste like ginger..

only thing tt happens in my hse
more tings coming in.. nvr throwing anything.. i pissed w sis.. sis pissed w mi.. sis pissed w aunt.. aunt piss w mum.. i pissed w all tings happening in hse.. mum pissed w dad.. bro pissed w dad.. its just such a pissful place..

big mistake..
waste my marnee.. waste my time.. sigh.. Harry Potter Movie sucks, period

Phone call at e clinic..
tis morn i got an enquiry call.. tis may sound crude but i dunno y i just wanna to blog tis.. Hehe..

----- my conversation with the caller -----

ME: Good Morn'! T------ Clinic..

Caller(C): do u speak chinese?

ME: Yup.. she me shi? (translate-wat izzit regarding?)

caller continues to speak in english.. sigh.. can speak english still wanna ask mi to speak chinese.. weird!?..

C: wat time u open until.. wat's ur charges.. (blah blah.. ask all e std qns..)

C: .. coz i got ulcers at my.. .. .. ..

i din get it coz e clinic cordless phone abit sucky.. always can't hear.. i tot i heard but i can't b sure..

ME: your where..??

C: *pause* at my.. .. err.. how do i put it.. *pause*

ya.. he's still speaking in english..
my tots at the moment:"i tink i noe wat i tink i heard but i still have to be sure in case he wanna ask doc something" =P

C: .. ..at my lan paa

ME: oohh.. ok.. u have to come let e doctor c..

C: ok.. then i tink i'll come either tonite or tomo nite

??.. actually its no pt telling mi wat?! haha.. dunno y he have to tell mi..

----- end of conversation -----

i'm not cringing at tis sort of embarrassing private part thingy.. but tis incident just makes mi feel like i was hokkien-educated instead of english-educated.. hehe.. which i wish i was.. can't really speak my own dialect well which is a big pity.. n its difficult to get it rite at tis age with not much chance to practice..

anyway, its just one of those moments tt u can't put certain words in certain language when its just something so common.. sigh.. it makes me reflect on my english standard once again.. yet i'm too lazy to do anything abt it..

some pump invented
wat was that again?? a testicle pump.. err.. watever.. anyway its just some sort of pump u put in the testicles n when u need an eraction u squeeze it to release medicine to get 1.. something like that.. everything is just so fake n unreal these days.. yucks.. disgusting!

jealous?!
shit! can't believe i can't get tis feeling outta my mind.. tink there's so many girls out there ogling at my bf.. shd i b happy instead?! yeeekk... can't stand it.. but then come to tink of it i tink i was one of them.. hehehe.. =P
BUT STILL.. ..

~PIAK~
this is wat i heard when i dropped my mobile phone (tis is like the 3rd or 4th time i've dropped it these 2 wks) while speeding downslope on a bicycle tis morning.. now my NOK phone looks real shitty.. looks as if i picked up from some drain.. but seems to b still working fine.. be it tis way hopefully..

still bothering mi..
gimme the ans that i wan..

GIVE UP!!.. WAKE UP!!.. stop dreaming.. sigh..

just a simple tink
wait.. i think i getit.. i just wanna get an ans that i wan.. which i think is not.. so i dun wanna noe.. argh.. stoopid life..

tell mi.. tell mi.. no.. wait.. dun.. ???
i just dun understand..
do i wan it..
did i do the right thing..
is there a right or wrg..
i wanna noe.. i need to noe.. .. ..
YET.. .. ..
i dun wanna to noe.. i dun tink noe-ing will help..
it will make a diff thou.. .. ..
BUT.. .. ..
i tink its for the worse..
so i guess its better not to noe..
am i running away..

Dreams
dreams are so rare for mi.. yet y izzit that the dream i get is mi getting chicken pox.. wat the hell does that mean.. izzit a sign or wat!?

dried up
another one of those days which u're so depressed u wanna cry but tears just dun come out coz u're just so sian with everything in the world u can't even feel.. think only pigging out helps now..

FUCK lah..
i just so fucking pissed that i can't even expressed it in words..

hateithateithateit......
i just HAAAATTTTTEEEEE my home.. i'm so pissed n depressed in here n i can't do anything.. i just wanna get outta hse!!!! b away from everybody!! nope.. even when i come home late as planned when everyone is asleep.. they write notes n memos!!.. n THAT pisses mi too!!!! arrghhh.. .. ..

Bad Environment!!!!!!!!
fuck.. the moment i reach home.. i get depressed..
n wat makes it worse???!!! sis pisses mi EVERY EVERY SINGLE DAY!!!!!!!!

*SCREAMS* LEAVE MI ALONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

why ask mi to do things when u can do it yourself!!!!!!!!!! n then come give mi THAT face coz i din do it within ur siputated timeframe!!?? i'm not that fucking free.. u NOE!!!!

To all the ppl who hate their life..
why r we existing?? i think my dad is just pre-programmed.. he only ask the same qns in the similar situation n give the same ans everytime. passes the same remark no matter how you reacted to it the last time.. i dunno y ppl tok to mi n i dunno y i tok to ppl.. nobody really did bother abt mi nor did i did bother abt anybody actually.. i din have anything i wanted to buy n when i looked at my payslip.. i wonder why i worked.. now i remembered why i need $.. i need lotsa of $.. so that i can just use my own $ to mess up my own life.. n not b living on somebody's $ n owe it to them even when u wanna screw up your own life.. i dun care if you think i'm just making a big fuss over my supposing gd life..nobody has any rite to judge mi becoz nobody had experience my life exactly like i had.. we r just existing so that ppl who noe u still noe that u r ard n not b sad abt u not ard.. but who cares if u r not ard?? time heals everything.. .. eventually.. nothing will go on forever.. .. 1yr they may b sad.. 5yrs they may still b sad.. 10 yrs they may still think of u once in a while.. 20yrs its only natural they remember u only once in a while.. sometimes i ask myself if i need a psychatrist..(who cares how u spell it.. ), whether i need someone to tok to.. i dun need anything.. i dun even need to exist if i can help it..

Useless.. Mindless.. Brainless.. Meaningless..
had just started studying for a few days.. let's c.. few hrs on tues.. then wed.. n thur too.. but progress is just painfully slow.. y? *BIG BIG sigh*i'm feeling damn relaxed now.. a nvr b4 calmness.. the type of feeling when u noe all is gone.. (no.. its more like u relax yourself just to cover up.. .. .. argh.. put it bluntly.. its just bluffing yourself to the very extreme till u yourself believe it..--bluffing yourself that everything is just fine..) but the next moment u'll start to panick abit coz u're just running out of time n still not progressing.. just for a few seconds or minutes.. then the calmness will slowly come back again..

i'm like.. only at the stage where i read to just noe wat i'm suppose to study for exam, or rather wat this subj is all abt in the first place.. so i'm still a long way from revising for exam! but exam is just less than a mth away.. n we'r only toking abt the first subj i start working on.. well the other 1 is in exactly the same situation.. yup.. only 2 subj N I CAN"T HANDLE IT!!!.. damn damn damn sian!.!.!

LOCCCKKOUT!!!
ARAGGHHH!!!! come rob my house with the fucking key! n trust mi u can't even get in!.. got home at 3 this morning.. just to find that i've been locked out coz the other side of the lock (which is the inside of the hse.. ya you need the key to open from inside too.. coz there's no the-knob-thing to lock!) had the key in e keyhole which makes it impossible to open it from the outside even thou you have the KEY! (n my family have the habit of leaving e key there.. so this is NOT THE FIRST TIME IT HAPPENS!!!) n who is that idiot who invented such a lock!!?..
din wanna wake anybody up.. so that i can get a scolding for being home late n the "serve-u-rite" look n tone they give you!?.. so i just slept at the doorstep beside the stoopid fucking dog i hate.. arrghhh.. n coz its a public holiday today.. they only woke up n open door at 7.50am.. but it works.. haha.. tink they feel bad abt leaving the key there.. n nobody scold mi.. but.. FUCK THE WORLD anyway!