Fastest Month!!
Its the end of January.. also the end of the Chinese Horse Year.. dunno y but january always seems to be the fastest month of the year.. everytime my january just fly past.. needless to say.. nothing can b accomplished in the fastest mth of the yr.. just noe it came.. its moving n its past.. all within "few blinks of eye"..

anyway.. i'm leaving tonite.. for my china trip!!.. nothing to look forward to.. but just noe that the day i came back will be the day i'm faced with falling-behind-class reality again..!! puhh..

n oh.. XIN NIAN KUAI LE everybody!! =)

how true!
Perfectionism & Proscratisnation go hand in hand!

yes! yes! yes!
they have sent the dog away for GOOD.. glad for myself.. glad for the dog.. glad for the whole family(was a constant quarrelling topic).. tis just dumb.. while still grinning n satisfied with e sendaway.. kenna splashed by the fish.. ARGH.. i just hate all animals..

just lost a job opp. coz i din do anything..

the idea.. the urge.. the want.. the longing.. the dream.. just come n go.. mayb i shd just put it on hold first.. but its gonna b something u'll regret on ur dying bed.. wat m i gonna do.. *sigh*

HERO
watched it on monday.. n guess wat.. there's so many ppl that doesn't need to work on a monday afternoon.. like mi.. hehe.. cinema was almost half full.. still not too bad.. but the movies sucks.. Summary:"red.. blue.. white.. green.., deduction by different ppl of wat happened.." that's it.. storyline is totally bad.. ok but the color effect was pretty cool lah.. i dunno why the last few movies that i watched all sucks..

urghh!!
went class.. late.. fell asleep.. ran out of tapes.. brought all my notes EXCEPT wat the lecturer was teaching.. y was i even there!!! --coz i paid for it?!?!?!?!?!

i just dun wan to do my resume.. dun wan to study.. dun wan to do anything.. whenever i feel.. i put it away.. whenever i think.. i put it away.. so now i'm just left with an empty brain.. empty heart..

Last Day!
ye! ye! finally done with my job.. 1 load off.. time hit the books.. falling behind again.. but first must get another job.. no.. First is to get my resume out.. then get a job.. no.. wait.. FIRST shd be my china trip.. then the resume.. then the job.. then study.. then workout.. haaha.a. just all crap.. when wld i ever get down to study.. i'm back to chasing my tail again..

dunno if i shd renew my licence to the new photocard thingy.. or just let it lapse abit.. hmm..

can't stand this.. pple ask for.. nope! they INSIST on window seat.. n guess how they sit?!. --back-facing the window.. duhh..

#$*#&$*()(#!!!!
had some funny dream again.. got some body switch or something.. can't rem the rest of it..

anyway was almost late again for class coz of all dumb stuff.. i even woke up real early.. (tok abt waking up early.. now my body clock is damn screwed up.. dunno wat happened to my 12-hr sleep cycle.. now i wake up automatically after 6hr.. urghh..)

then cldn't get outta the hse coz the dog was lose.. first my sis.. then my mum.. now my dad.. y can't they just send the dog away.. n guess wat it did.. bite my t-shirts which i just let it out to sun seconds ago.. yucks.. arghh.. think i have to get my mum to soaked it .. if it wasn't a new tee.. i wld have thrown it away.. HATE IT!!!!!!!!! damn disgusting....

they wan the dog but they dun bother abt it.. just tie it there all day.. playing with it only once in a while.. whenever they feel like it... i really really hate the dog.. but i really really pity it too.. fuck.. it just reflect my life.. the way my parents handle is the same mann.. just feeding it.. bothering only when u r free.. only becoz u have too.. other times.. u just stay there n behave.. arghh.. just let it go mann.. i think its really going crazy.. i wldn't b surprised it it did n eat the whole family.. duhh..

real guilt?..
i haven got the "women-of-the-world-unite attitude".. lacking of that, i think i've done somebody wrg.. n i definately dun wan that same thing to happen to me.. i just hope.. NOPE.. i noe, to that person, IT IS for the better indirectly.. .. i noe i shdn't.. but if u were to turn bac time.. i wldn't have changed my actions.. so am i feeling a real guilt.. noeing that i've done something i shd't but yet given another chance i wldn't chg anything.. mayb i wld.. i wld do it just as i tot i wld.. if circumstances had not turned it the other way..

blah..
when in doubt.. always focus on focusing..

its either e mth.. or e lecturer.. or cld it b the subj.. i tink i'm motivated again..

n u noe its not meant to b if u drag urself to do the things everytime.. but sometimes there just isn't a choice..

Have i seen u b4?
y does everybody, everywhere, finds mi familar?!.. m i created from some mould or something?!.. nope.. its not a pick up line.. its comes from ppl of all age, sex, size, looks.. i just wonder if all those ppl tt these ppl tot i was.. suffered e same fate!.. i tot i'm different but i guess i just belong to a common face category.. boring... ...

Old Schoolmates
just bum into a big grp of old schoolmates hanging out near my hse kopi tiam.. tok abit.. laugh abit.. drink abit.. dun really noe them well.. cept a few tt was once classmates.. feel gd.. feel bad.. mixed feelings again.. its been SEVEN long yrs since i last saw them.. so wat does that say?!.. anyway just saw some other schmates on sunday also.. things seems to b happening in batches..

Decisions!
well i've decided.. to pass my examination in my next sitting.. to quit my brainless job(which i just did)..

now i'm trying to decide.. whether to take up another PT job(which my ex-collegue wanted to intro mi.. so its practically knocking at my door).. whether to get a FT job.. whether to study the lower level syllabus.. whether to go for my license.. whether to buy a new mobile phone(just becoz i wanna overlap the contract, just becoz my mobile line is eligible for upgrade now).. whether i shd stop doing 'something'.. whether i shd start doing another 'something'.. whether i shd do something abt 'something'.. n it goes on n on n on n on.. sucks man.. i just dunno wat i wanna do.. .. ..

again.. i envy ppl with dreamz n passion.. i dun even have one to go after.. n is that my fault?!

hmm.. mayb procrastinating is an understatement for me..

i quit!
ok.. i've quit my brainless job.. (but still another 2 wks to go..) my fren was asking mi wat's my decision.. then as i told her i just printed a resignation from a template n submitted today.. (yest rather..) then my fren asked, "y do u need a template for resignation letter? u need it often meh?!" haha.. i was like ya hor.. mayb i need.. anyway it goes hand-in-hand with a resume.. doesn't it?! if u have a template for resume.. y not one for a resignation letter.. hehe..

something something is holding mi bac.. but well since decision is made.. i shdn't b looking bac.. anyway working for money shdn't b in my priority list rite now..

Procrastinating..
procrastinate.. procrastinate.. procrastinate.. procrastinate.. proscratinate.. somebody said i am procrastinating..

I dun need all these to chg my life!!!!
Splitting headache.. Teh Tarek.. Insomia.. Super bad cough.. Paracentamol.. Dhasedyl.. Please work.. Morn' class.. Afternoon appt.. Evening work.. arghh..

wat i shd b focusing..

1. My Level2 Cert!!!!!
2. A So-called Proper Job
3. Tummy

focus.. *eyes to e left*
focus.. *eyes to e right*
focus.. *eyes moving with e swinging chain*

aiya.. y m i going thru all the tok n no action type of thing again.. hia.. hia.. hia.. hia.. hia.. hia.. hia.. hia.. hia.. hia.. hia.. hia.. hia.. hia.. hia.. hia.. hia.. hia.. hia.. hia.. hia.. hia.. hia.. hia.. hia.. hia.. hia.. hia.. hia.. hia.. hia.. hia.. hia.. hia.. hia.. hia.. hia.. hia.. hia.. hia.. hia.. hia.. hia.. hia.. sian!

how lazy can one be?!
i'm beginning to wonder if one day i'll be too lazy to even breath n stop breathing..

hate the dog!
the dog is going mad.. i'm glad.. coz i nvr welcome it..
they'r mad at the dog.. i'm glad.. coz i nvr welcome it..
she's was hurt due to the dog.. i'm glad.. coz i nvr welcome it..
the dog messed up the whole place.. i'm glad.. coz i nvr welcome it..
they quarrelled becoz of the dog.. i'm glad.. coz i nvr welcome it..

sometimes i do pity the dog a slight slight bit.. but i'll NVR welcome it..

he thinks its better than us.. she thinks its fun..
well mayb we failed.. go ahead.. it doesn't matter.. just getit outta my sight..

same old shit..
i rem she told mi i could turn to her no matter wat happened..
she said she told mi long ago.. but i din even noe..
she say she'll b there for me.. for us.. no matter wat happened..

but how can i? when i nvr felt that link or bond..
how can i? when i nvr even feel comfortable just talking..

she may b sad i din confide.. but she may not even noe i needed that..
i wan to say u r so bad n unsuccessful in ur responsibility.. but i can't..
i wan put all the blame on u.. but i noe u r not fine too..

i brought it up.. but nobody wanted to admit..
or mayb i just tot wrg.. i really dunno wat's happening to everybody..
wat i c.. there is no smile or joy on any faces.. but nobody says so..

now i only noe i'm not.. currently i have a vague source.. i hope it stays.. but yet i dun wish to keep it..

n for no reason.. i dunno y i need to cry again..

Stoopid Party!
gd start for the new year? haha.. just got up w a fucking headache.. sigh.. i dunno wat possessed me to go to the countdown.. its simply sucks.. sentosasucks.. partysucks.. partygoerssucks.. companysucks.. only fireworks was at least worth it..

Drink-Buying Episode
i tried to buy a drink from the stall.. ya.. u guess it.. its just pushing n squeezing.. n tis fucking ang moh think that just because he is big size(not fat but tall, guess almost 2m.. coz his head stick above the crowd), he stretch his fucking long arms way across 8 ppl i think to tap on his fellow ang moh(ppl whom he doesn't noe).. "If i give u money, will u but some beer for mi".. FUCK YOU!! (well everybody was angry.. i was angry.. but nobody did anything.. argghh.. just because he's big size?! fuck myself too.. to get myself in that situation.. ) well the 1st guy was cool.. he ignored him.. the 2nd ang moh just willing buy the drinks for him.. when the crowd was getting outta control n the drink seller requested for queues b4 he continued to sell the drinks.. guess wat!? that fucking big size ang moh is the one who made the most noise.. arrghhh.. i just hate it..