Goodbye! n Looking Back..
ONE year had jus slipped by (july 4 to b exact).. tis e last entry for tis blog of mine.. at times when i scrolled thru my own archieves.. i c things jus repeating.. going thru the same old shit.. complaining the same old stuffs.. plagued by ill-disciplined thru-out the yr.. looking at it.. reflecting on it.. everything is up to oneself..

gonna start a new blog if i ever wanna continue blogging.. change is inevitable.. but.. mayb i will.. mayb i wldn't.. till then.. ~wave~ thank you ALL.. for dropping by.. =)

a quote shared
"Freedom is only for self-disciplined people"
(translated from chinese - "zhi4 you2 zhi3 shi4 shu3 yu2 zhi4 lû4 de ren2")

delicated to all ill-disciplined individuals like mi.. this shd strike u the same way it did to mi n my fren.. work hard.. success is jus there for us to grab!!

decisions again!
took hell of a time deciding for which class i shd sign up.. simple ting yet stress mi up like mad.. sigh..

anyway met up w my poly mates.. total of 10 peeps.. pretty cool.. jus realised that they r quite lobang-ful.. got some job offers immediately.. hmm.. i hope i get the job.. CCK.. yeah.. its a perfect location!! =)

new look
i like the new look of blogger.. jus wondering if i shd start a new blog.. its gonna b one yr soon.. its time to stop hating my life? mayb..

they'r toking abt me!
arghh.. i jus hate it.. ya ya.. i'm bumming.. i'm living off my dad.. i can afford not to work coz i still get pocket money.. i'm studying yr after yr coz my dad pay my fees.. ohh.. no wonder.. coz she's got a rich dad! HAPPY?? fuck u all!!

good old ting!
at least i found my 10-yr old badminton racket!! n its still in gd shape.. =) yeah!!.. no need to spent more $.. had already spent 13bucks on e shuttlecocks.. i'm gonna play badminton later..

sports are expensive!
need shuttlecocks.. need court booking.. need tennis racket.. need new swimming costumes.. my in-line skates' screws seemed problematic.. bearing needs cleaning.. blar.. blar.. blar.. n i have my climbing equipment rotting in the drawer.. diving stuff rotting in the cupboard.. mayb its jus me? mayb shd stick to one sport?.. nah.. that's kinda boring? luckily my running shoes r still doing great.. oh ya.. i want a bicycle too..

sigh.. need $ to support my activities.. so wat now?! need to earn $.. then no time.. then all equipment goes into the cupboard.. then they start becoming a dust-collector.. blah.. n the cycle goes on..

sleep again?
now i'm damn sleepy again.. arghh.. nope.. i tink i'll go watch matrix dvd..

bodyclock
dun even need an alarm clock anymore.. blah.. i cant even sleep up to 6hrs.. (that's only half my usual requirement).. slept at 11pm on sun nite n i woke at 4am.. wtf! n last nite slept at 1am.. now i'm up b4 7am.. totally screwed..

my saturday!
guess wat i did the whole day?! fun-filled-all-activity day w my gal frens.. started at 0930.. went for an hour of tennis (well jus a trial.. so pick tennis ball for a while.. hee..) then we swam.. then had lunch.. then came home put stuff.. took digicam.. then went to fren's showflat.. took some photos.. (well she's getting married soon.. so.. eager to show us her future hse..) then w all of us crazy abt crabs.. we cooked crabs n chicken wings for dina.. (well THEY cooked to b precise..) then we ate.. pepper crabs.. chilli crabs.. chicken wings.. lotsa apples.. yakult.. sarsi.. 'traffic light' ice-lolly.. then we played majong.. n now.. i finally end my saturday.. =)

i got my pouch..
i got my 'finding nemo' pouch from McDonalds.. *jumps ard* hee.. n its squirt - the green turtle.. u noe? u noe? =P

Night Safari
jus went to the night safari.. not bad.. i feel tourisy.. hee.. pretty cool.. well my company was great too.. grin.. ehh.. but it was pretty dark to c them clearly n some.. i guess were in deep slumber.. no where in sight.. other then that.. still not too bad.. well these places r e few main attractions of our island.. how bad can they b.. =) ohh.. n managed to catch their show too.. but it was hot n crowded.. jus a short show thou..

my heart stopped!
urgh.. i literally feel my heart stop 1 beat.. when i c my result by email.. by nah.. it wasn't my result.. it was jus the subject - Examination Results.. anyway it was jus a notice to cfm i'll receive my result thru email.. on 18 august.. sigh.. that long.. n i still haven decided my on my new class which start 1 july.. wattodo wattodo wattodo.. it is a big circle.. round n round.. no end.. sian..

No exception
i hate everything in my hse.. everybody.. everything.. everyparticle.. watever.. the way the r placed.. the way they landed in my hse.. the way they r kept.. yes jus every EVERY single thing.. ok.. i only like the colors of my room walls.. nothing else!

history repeats!
i had a dina appt at 1830 but i jus finished my lunch at 1530.. urgh.. hate it.. e same ting as wat happened last sunday.. met e same fren for dina at 1900 n i finished lunch at 1630.. ended up letting my fren eat alone.. fuck mann.. wat m i gonna to do now.. hateit.. hateit.. i dun hav a choice okay!!! unless i wanna quarrel with my mum again.. so i'll jus need to stuff myself later n get FAT.. fuck!

i'm eating becoz..
its breakfast time..
i jus woke up..
my mum INSIST on cooking..
its lunch time..
i cant stand messy leftovers..
i hav craving..
its dina time..
my mum dun wan to keep food overnite..
i jus wanna snack..
i need to keep awake..
i need to kickstart my brain..
i'm feeling shitty..
i wanna munch..
e food is already on my plate..
i hav dina appt..
i dun wanna waste food..
i wanna hang out at e food place..
i feel bad when mum gives me the y-r-u-not-eating-home-food-again look..
i forget to tell mum not to cook my share.. n she gives mi the everybody-dun-wanna-eat-then-y-m-i-cooking look
.. ..
BUT i WASNT even hungry at all! sigh..

jus a big stoopid mess
y cant all the tings hav its proper place.. proper time..

gloomy days..
sigh.. so many ppl.. so little job.. applied for some jobs online.. but there's so many other applying.. n the trend is most have higher qualification.. yet most r asking for lower pay.. aii.. fuckcare.. jus gonna clean up my room now in prep for a mahjong session tomo!! later..

i need a job
i need a job.. i need a job.. i need a job.. i got cable tv in my hse finally!! i need a job.. i need a job.. i need a job.. i went to get a bday prezzie jus now.. first time i did it under 2hrs.. nvr get fustrated.. n satisfied w my buy!! i need a job.. i seriously need a job.. i noe wat job to look for now.. i jus wan a job.. i need a job.. i'm going to nite safari tomo!! i need a job.. i need a job.. i had my sat planned!! i need a job -- THAT is the impt point!

let me b free
i'm still tempted to do foolish stuffs.. i'm still not over it.. stuffs that happen 2yrs ago.. stuffs that happen few mths ago.. i dunno if i can ever healed.. i've build my wall so strong n sturdy.. it still doesn't give full protection.. but tis time i'm not gonna hurt myself anymore..

dragged
its been such a drag for mi to do everything.. i dun enjoy any sports that i used to loved anymore.. a drag to tok to pple.. i jus wanna be alone.. i dunno wat's wrg w mi but jus sinking deeper each day..

Blading
its been a long time since i bring my blades out.. i've had them for almost a yr but i've yet to seasoned them.. take some time to sit at the breakwater.. feel the sea breeze.. listen to the waves.. better do while i can b4 i missed the chance n then regret like all my other things i've lost.. sigh..

Night Cycling
jus came bac from a 4hr cycling n supper trip.. guess its the best way to have supper.. at least there's some working out b4 n after.. hehe.. i shd have totally burn up my ba cho mee now.. hopefully..
well the main idea was to catch up w a fren.. but.. it always bring bac memories.. n.. .. nice memories make u sad.. sad memories make u even sadder.. so i dun like memories.. blah.. or rather i can't handle them.. sigh..

Bruce Almighty
after hearing so many pple said the show is gd.. decided that i must watch it.. went for the show just now.. great indeed.. hilarious.. most importantly.. there is a moral behind the story..
tis 2 simple lines sent mi thinking - "A teenager who says no to drugs but yes to education is a miracle. A mother holding two jobs and still finds time to send her son for soccer practice is a miracle."
n i just like the tomato soup part - the miniture version.. hee..

done!
formating successful.. yeah.. new os.. new virus scan.. =)

major overhaul
gonna format my comp today.. hope i dun encounter much probs..

But I was born to try

No point in talking what you should have been
And regretting the things that went on
Life's full of mistakes, destinies and fate
Remove the clouds look at the bigger picture

And all that you see is me
And all I truly believe

That I was born to try
I've learned to love
Be understanding
And believe in life
But you've got to make choices
Be wrong or right
Sometimes you've got to sacrifice the things you like

-DELTA GOODREM
-Born To Try

Cold Turkey
no more late nights needed.. so the next ting i NEED to do is to go on a caffeine cold turkey for one full month.. (ie from 11 June 12:00 to 10 July 12:00)
that means..
no coffee (starbucks.. coffeebean.. Indocafe 3-in-1.. Nescafe 3-in-1.. kopi-peng.. kopi-O.. kopi.. kopi-C..)
no tea (lipton.. tiekuanyin.. woolongcha.. jasmine.. poka green tea.. heaven & earth green tea.. green tea.. teh.. teh-peng.. teh-O.. teh-C..)
no chocolate (expansive.. cheap.. calbury.. van houlton.. dark.. milk.. white.. e chocolate cafe at e esplanade i've been longing to go..)
no cola (pepsi.. coke..)
no mountain dew (i hope kic-ka-poo is caffeine-free..)
no.. ehh.. wat else?? did i miss out anything? dun seems to have much drinks left for mi thou.. =(

i hav a prob w money!
no.. not the usual "i hav no money".. its jus the money can't solve everything prob.. sigh.. if anyone ever understand.. well i dun..

tic.. tic.. tic..
totally bad headache.. i dunno if its jus another subconscious-triggered aches again.. but i m jus helplessly helpless abt my helplessness now.. =( *drowning*

delusion?
wat if i'm only living in false security?

i jus can't f****** stand tis!
you dun solve a stock-out prob by PILING up stocks.. fuck..
solution: go live in the supermarket!

you dun solve a not-cleaning-up-after-u-use prob by STOPPING usage n KEEPING all away.. fuck..
solution: jus throw them all away..

both r jus ONE-OF-A-KIND.. *pissed* nope.. *fucking pissed!!*

lalala
i have successfully stoned one week.. great.. puhh..